The rebel in me

It's not an ideal holiday plan I had in mind but my parents desperately wanted me to go to this gospel camp tomorrow and its going to last for three days. It sux coz I only have just about five days before we start school again and I'm not really a spiritual person.

Apart from me being anti-social, gospel camping is really not my thing. I'd rather find God by myself and I prefer not to cry, dance, scream Halleluia and share my testimony in front of the hundreds of people. So just because my father is a pastor don't expect the Kumbaya shit from me after I come back, not gonna happen.
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In my opinion our community has heard too many versions of the word of God. The way to become born-again is now too complicated because there are way too many believes and ideas, too many different denominations. It's just too confusing for people like me who have too much free time to over think about everything. What Mizoram needs at the moment is not another pastor or denomination but people who reads Bible and making decisions by themselves.

To be honest I have some issues with Christianity. It is said that you have to be born-again to go to heaven right, so here's my question. What happens to our forefathers who had never heard the word of God because nobody told them. After they die will they go to hell? You have to be born-again to go to heaven right, it's just not fair because nobody ever told them about Jesus and the people who finally told them about Jesus were the same people who came to India so that they can enslave us politically and economically. Let me give you another example, let say I was stranded in an island by myself and I've never heard of Jesus, suddenly its judgement day and God asked me why I am not a born again Christian. Then I tell God that I live in an isolated island and the missionaries never came. Where do you think God will send me? heaven or hell? Am I being arrogant or blasphemous for asking these stupid questions?

I use to think that we were doing a great job sending missionaries to more backward places (I mean no disrespect to missionaries) but I am not so sure anymore. One of my friend in College asked me this, he was a Hindu, well, a beef eating Hindu but I can never forget what he said. We do open schools, health facilities and do other charity work in backward places and he said that we only do this as a bribe so that these people will convert to Christianity. He is implying that we blackmail these people into converting into Christianity. There was a time when there was a rumour that some people were bribed to convert into Hiduism in Mizoram and the church was not too please with it. I even hear pastors talking about it in the church.We bribe them, they bribe us so why complain. We are such hypocrites. One thing is clear though, the Mizo community is very intolerant towards other religions. I can only hope we don't involve violence.

I guess having doubts about Christianity or religion as a whole is pretty common among my generation. What happens when we die? Is there a heaven or hell? Are we just going to float around like ghosts with all the other dead people? Or do we just cease to exist? Life is full of unanswered questions.... What do we really know? What is the purpose of being here? Did someone put us here for a reason or are we here just by chance? Is being religious just a phase for people in the developing world? To be honest I couldn't care less if we are here by chance, and that our existence is due to some rare coincidence. I am not saying I don't believe in God. I mean lets face it, what do we really know about the Universe. We have only gone to the moon, Whats lies beyond our galaxy and what lies beyond that and beyond that. So maybe there is a God somewhere who created all this. When you think about these things you realize how insignificant we are and how little we really know.

Anyways, I have no choice but to go at least to please my parents. Maybe I'll experience some life changing event, Maybe I turned out like those really spiritual, slightly crazy people I was criticizing. I don't know. Plus this camping from what I've heard is going to be more like a Bible study, seems its not going to be the typical Mizo gospel camping if you know what I mean. On the bright side the preacher is Mr Lianchhunga, one of the best young BCM Pastors. I have heard some of his sermons and I like it coz I feel his sermons are based on logic rather than emotions, plus he's pretty good with Microsoft Powerpoint. But I'm still not too thrilled about it, especially coz it's during the holidays. Bottom line is my parents want me to go and I have been a brat for as long as I can remember. So got to take this one for the team (my family) I guess.

A Tribute To Friday

The best day of the week is Friday, obviously. It is the day that gives reason to people like me (lazy people)to get up every other morning to carry on with our lives because we know that it's not going to be like this every morning, there still is hope, a light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, there will always be FRIDAY.

I've come to realize that I don't treasure this particular day enough and I've devised a plan to make my Saturday morning a little more pleasant. I've told my mother that I have something important to do in the morning and she's going to wake me up at 5 am. That way I would wake up really early, look at my watch, tell myself it's Saturday and go back to sleep savoring every second. And all the other morning(s) can suck it. Awwwwww this feeling.

Here's to all the lazy people out there. Know that there is a reward after all the stress the weekdays throws at you, there will come a day when you can just relax and take a time out, and that day is Friday. The harder you work in the weekdays the sweeter your weekend will get.

But then if you works Saturdays and Sundays then I just feel sorry for you.  

So my mother will wake me up at 5 and I'll go back to sleep without a care in the world because its Friday and not Wednesday or Thursday and definitely not Monday.

I dedicated this poem to Friday to show my appreciation. It may not be that good but it's from the heart.

     Friday has come and passed

     The weekend has gone so fast

     Wake me up tomorrow at 6 am

     Here comes the rain again

     A good sleep can never last

     Got to get up at 6 am

     My alarm is ringing again

     Like it always did before

     To wake me up when it's 6 am

     Workdays will come and pass

     Even weekdays never last

     On Friday, I'll sleep till 10 am

PEACE

NEW JOB

SIR. That’s how I will be addressed starting next week, July 1, 2014 to be exact. No, I didn’t get knighted but I will start my new job as a substitute teacher at Carey English School where I was once a student myself.

I have always respected teachers and the profession. I have had several great teachers who have motivated me and whose words have guided me throughout my life. I believe that teachers have a great opportunity to help children grow up into great persons. Especially in the lower level, I believe that teaching the students their syllabus is just part of the package and I felt that teachers have greater responsibility of guiding their students and preparing them for the future. In my book, a good teacher is someone who inspires his students and gives them the courage to chase their dreams, big or small.

I truly believe in the words that I have just mentioned which puts me under a lot of pressure because I can’t tell what kind of teacher I am going to be. In spite of my best intentions I have no experience in teaching, I am very poor in public speaking, I am not a people person and I am not doing too well in the self-confidence department. So I have spent a couple of sleepless nights wondering what will happen on my first day and not that I needed to be reminded at this moment I remember this one friend from college who passed out in the classroom on his first day as a teacher. It can't get any worse than that. I know what you’re probably thinking; I am thinking about this too much and you think its not too hard as I made it sound. You are probably right but hey, that’s me and I can’t help myself. Welcome to my world.

On the brighter side I do have a Bachelor and Masters Degree in communication and right, teaching is part of communication. I’ve learned and written in so many of exam papers in College and University that teaching in a classroom is a Group communication and I’ve learnt by heart the do’s and don’ts in this situation. I just need to apply it here.

Coming back to CES, I studied class 1 and 2 here and it brings back a lot of memories. Some of my teachers back then are also still working here and even though I am nervous, I do feel like home already. The school has changed so much since I was a student there. I remember those times when it rained and we would shift down to a community hall just below our school because there was a real chance that our school building could collapse under intense rain. How sir Biaka would give us some of the most tiresome punishments I’ve ever suffered. How did he even come up with them? He was pure genius.  

Man I’m getting all nostalgic here, wish I had the words to express what I am feeling right now. I wonder where my CES classmates are right now? It’s almost been 20 years. Will we recognise each other if we meet somewhere, or we’d just be like strangers. It’d sure be nice to talk about the past.  

I’ll stop this post here because it’s getting a bit too long now and I don’t know how to end it. I’ll write some more later, Night night.